Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Blog Spotlight: Reasoning With Vampires

Here on The Pie, Miranda and I support the arts. We know how much goes into the creation of anything. We aim not to heckle/poke fun/abuse any creative endeavor.

That doesn't mean we can't enjoy when other people do.

But Alicia, that's awful.
Maybe, but sometimes it's so warranted.

Oh, really? When?
When it involves a little franchise called Twilight.

Before you go off about how awesome Twilight is, how it's so romantic, blah blah blah, you should know I'm not going to listen. I'm firmly lodged in my belief that it's awful. Reasoning With Vampires backs me up. She breaks down Twilight* into separate chunks and corrects the grammar, questions word choices, and questions plot elements.

If you're a true fan of Twilight and the subsequent books, you probably should stop reading.

For an example of what she does, look at the passage below. Not every one is this long, but it does showcase what you can expect if you go onto the site.


Reading through her entries is useful to the writing process as well. When you see the text in isolated chunks like this, you're able to find more things that don't work. I might try this out when I'm working on revising more clunky scenes.

Now I'm curious, Lurkdom, what are your thoughts on Twilight's story and writing?

* And will continue with the other books.
Last.fm hit of the day: Endtime by Praxis


  1. My favorite part to recreate to my husband is when they discover Renesmee's power. Not direct quotes, obviously, but it goes something like this.
    We've figured out that Renesmee's special power is that she is a shield -Edward

    But we have to figure out how to protect our baby- Bella

    Hey guys, Renesmee has this power, and its that she's a shield- Jacob

    Just stop, can't you hear me, I have to figure out how to protect my baby- Bella

    So, like I said, she's a shield.-Jacob

    How are we ever going to protect the baby.- Bella
    ...And on and on.

  2. I actually at one point enjoyed Twilight. Before it got crazy fangirl status. The books weren't perfect or anywhere near it but I did enjoy reading them (except Eclipse. I always did and always will dislike Jacob) I read half of breaking dawn when the movie Twilight came out. Then I stopped. The movie was terrible and completely ruined everything I thought of the book.

    When they said Vampires sparkle.. I didn't think they legit sparkle. Maybe they were so..... vampirey that the sun just shines off them unusually. But no. They actually sparkle.

    (Also, don't vampires kinda explode in the sunlight?)

    SPOILERS <<<

    I know how Breaking Dawn ends.
    But really?
    Half vampire baby. I'm pretty sure Vampires cannot have babies. and Bella would PROBABLY have died if she had sex with a Vampire.

    Then the werewolf imprints on the baby. The first three books talk about how werewolves hate vampires and the smell etc. How does it make sense at all for him to fall in love with a half vampire (that shouldn't even exist)

    You make no sense, Twilight.


    It's a good children book (minus breaking dawn) because kids dont want to think Vampires are scary. Oooh this Vampire is nice he falls in love <3333

    But the entire series really doesn't make sense when you think about it. XDDD

  3. I hate the Twilight franchise. Hate. It. And not just from a liberal, modern feminist viewpoint (which it mainly is) but also from a writer's viewpoint (which is maybe 20% of my dislike). It's terrible.

    I think I'd slap Bella Swan and tell her to snap out of it if she was a real person and I knew her.


    I feel so much better now... :)


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