Wednesday, March 9, 2011

In Which We Peek into High School Alicia's Brain

Every Wednesday, YA Highway asks their readership a simple question to answer on your blog. Once you answer, you link your blog in the comments for other readers to hop on board. This is Road Trip Wednesday.

First, a big hello to everyone new in The Lurkdom. Please comment often. Second, a big thanks to Lauren Kaycee for our fancy new logo.

So, today's question is to celebrate the release of Kirsten Hubbard's Like Mandarin* where the main character wants to be like someone else. It's more like a statement, really.

I would have given anything to be like...

My childhood photos are littered with pictures of me sitting somewhere near my cousin Kim, usually in identical sitting positions. She's a couple of years older than me and, therefore, taller. My first grade portrait has me in a cranberry ensemble that used to belong to her. I slept over more times than I remember.

Enter High School Alicia.

Not during the High School Alicia phase.
One thing you need to understand is that High School Alicia was full of self-loathing. All I saw were the ghosts of braces, over-sized eyeglasses, and a reluctance to pack away my Barbies**. Royal bitchiness paired with shyness were my outer defense mechanisms, but I wanted everyone to like me.

To High School Alicia, High School Kim represented everything I wanted to be: pretty, smart, funny, taller***, and skinnier. Not to mention more stylish and a way more active social life. Oh, and better hair. She was always driven and definitely more confident than me.

I'm pretty sure that looking up to Kim subconsciously informed some of my choices as High School Senior Alicia, College Alicia, and Not-Quite-An-Adult Alicia. This isn't a bad thing.

The beauty of high school, it ends, as does the "if only I was more like so-and-so, everything would be better." Even though I still sometimes see myself as the girl with the glass that take over half her face, I'm definitely more comfortable with who I am now.

Lurkdom, who did you look up to growing up?

If you haven't already, go and enter our Race to 150 contest. Homebaked goods, scarves, an ARC of Divergent, and more are up for grabs!

* You can read the first chapter over on Kirsten's blog.
** No, I'm not kidding.
*** Those few extra inches count. A lot.
___________ hit of the day: H.A.A.G. by Saint Vitus


  1. I'm digging the new logo! Very nice!

    I think we all wanted to be someone else at some point in time, and that girl you wanted to be definitely wanted to be someone else, and so on and so forth. Like you said, the beauty about high school is that it ends (and then you can mine your experiences for writing fodder!)

  2. Yes those few inches count! My sister and I have an ongoing argument over who's a half an inch taller. (Me, obviously.)

    High school me wanted to be someone else, but not nearly as bad as middle school me did. Middle school was painful, and I'd have given anything to be one of the cool girls who never got made fun of, never had to worry who they'd sit with at lunch when their best friend was out sick. You couldn't pay me to relive middle school.

  3. *lol'd at the "Kaycee" up there*

    Wasn't it blue up there not white yesterday or am I imagining things? The logo *should* have a transparent background if you didn't want the top to be white. It looks good either way but in case you didn't know! :)

    Anyways. I can't think of a specific person I wanted to be in high school, I more so just created my own person I wanted to be. I could never be perfect to that "person" but I did what I could to be what I wanted. Mostly I just wanted to be skinny. So anyone who was skinny I'd see and wish I could have that figure. I got called a really mean name by someone my Freshman year (and never even heard anyone say it until my sophomore year when most of the school and called me it.) So there wasn't a specific person I really wanted to be- more like a part of specific people I wish I had. Haha

  4. I love that high school someday ends. You got the best part right!

  5. Love the new blog look. Isn't it great to be older! I wouldn't go back to HS or Junior High for anything.

  6. I think it's good, in a way, that those awkward girls we were never leave us -- as long as it results in empathy (and realistic teen characters!)

  7. Love the new logo and look of your blog. Great post. So sweet that the person you looked up to was your cousin.

  8. Hey there, I'm from RTW, reading the posts and looking for new blogs to follow. If we all had people we wanted to be like, I wonder who the people we wanted to be like wanted to be like? It would be fun to be able to ask them.

  9. I think many of us had a little of that awkward girl within (me - a lot!) and I think it helps us empathize more with plights of our protags.

    PS - well written post - loved it!

  10. It's great that your role model was a good one!

  11. I used to want to be like my older cousin growing up, too--Quita's older sister, actually! :) And I'm with you--middle school sucked. Funny that I now work at a middle school.

  12. Love the new look of your blog... very nice! Like Kate said, it's awesome that you had a good role model to look up to. You were probably more like her than you realized. :)

  13. I'm glad you found a great role model! And I was always jealous of people who had--or who I thought had--better hair than me. I never could quite figure out what to do with mine!

  14. This post is so honest and relatable and great. It's true, sometimes we all feel like we did back when we were smaller and less confident. And I definitely had that "everything would be better if ___" mindset, too! But what matters is who we are now - and you, Alicia, are amazing. Mwah! :D

  15. The even better part - it ends and eventually you see how they all turned out and find out even the most popular and perfect - felt like they had issues nobody else had to deal with. Everyone goes to high school - looking back everyone was alot closer together than we wanted to believe at that time.

  16. Ah, the memories. When I first started high school, I had unbelievably owlish reading glasses. VERY cool.

    And great point about finishing school! Not being at school anymore completely changed the way I saw everything, including myself.

  17. Man, if you only had one toy you didn't want to pack away, you were doing better than me. (Says the girl who writes with a My Little Pony and three tiny Pound Puppies on my desk... and little pirate dolls made of clothes pins.)

  18. I love your entry. Very heartfelt :)And it's wonderful that the person you looked up to was a good one :)


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