Thursday, February 10, 2011

Zombie Sex-tacular presents "Toys for the Twisted"


Zombie Thursdays is a weekly feature with guest blogger, Miranda. You can read more about her here.

**WARNING** Today's Zombie Thursday blog is NOT intended for anyone under the age of 18. If you're under 18, you should not be reading this. I recommend that you click on this link instead and try your hand at writing creepy gothic haiku. If you're under 18 and choose to ignore my warnings, Alicia and I are not responsible for what you read or see. For everyone 18 and over, please proceed with caution. If you are easily offended, don't read. Also note that while I will not post pictures of the products directly in the blog, the links I am posting are NSFW (NOT SAFE FOR WORK). Wait until you get home. Or, if you are lucky enough to work in a cool place, click away. **END WARNING**

Okay, now that I have that disclaimer out of the way...

Hello! And welcome to another edition of Zombie Sex-tacular! Honestly, today I was going to post about something completely different (it will be up for next week though... get ready to meet the first two players in my paper zombie army!), but for my birthday last week, someone brought what I am about to share with you to my attention. Plus, Alicia believes people in this world are sick (they are) because they seem to have a fascination with zombies and the sex and my writing about the two. Since we're so close to reaching 100 in the Lurkdom, I thought a Zombie Sex-tacular might put us over the edge!

Last week it was my birthday! My friend Tara is great about finding some of the most random and interesting things on the internet. What she shared with me for my special day is nothing short of amazing. And although she couldn't afford to buy it for me, letting me know it existed was definitely present enough.

Let me introduce you to the "Zombi Art Dildo!" (yes, click on the link if you are able... remember NSFW!!!!)

For those who don't wish to have this image pop up on their screen, let me fill you in. It is a seven inch functioning silicone dildo that is *hand painted* to look like rotting zombie flesh. Made by a company called Necronomicox (har har), it is sculpted to have "stimulating arteries" and a "textured rotting penis head." And because these babies are all handcrafted, they are authentically one-of-a-kind!

Think you'd like to get one or buy one as a joke gift or as a collector's item for the zombie lover in your life? Think again... the price tag is 245 dollars! For that kind of money, you could pay to travel and find a real zombie to... you know...


The good news is that they offer two other "models," a one color version and a two color version for those who don't want to part with 245 dollars. However, even the boring "one color" still sells for 150 dollars (not much better). Now, I did a little extra research and came across a more reasonably priced zombie sex toy, although this one is not nearly is good. This one is a (NSFW!) zombie finger vibrator and sells for about 33 dollars. It doesn't quite offer the same WOW factor as the zombie penis, though. But I would say the finger is definitely more of an affordable joke gift.

For me, personally I'd love to own the Zombi Art Dildo for displaying. It's a great conversation starter, and honestly probably wouldn't be the weirdest collectible I own. Unfortunately, I doubt any of my friends will be buying it for me anytime soon. But you all have a year until my next birthday... start up a money collection now and maybe I'll get lucky (in more ways than one *buhduhduh CHING!*).

Hope you enjoyed this special Zombie Sex-tacular! If you're new to The Pie and like what you've read, please "Follow Us" and join the Lurkdom! Once we hit 100 followers, there will be a contest!!! Until then, if you like contests, go back to the top and click on my "under 18 link" to try your luck at the haiku contest.

4 comments:

  1. They have Cthulu ones, too! I saw these guys a while ago. Too damn funny and utterly WRONG!

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  2. Oh my god, that's hilarious. I absolutely have to get one of those!

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  3. LOL. I'm kind of curious now. I'll have to check out the links when I get home from school haha. Maybe if a bunch of friends all pitch in money it could be a group effort present! Get like 13 friends to each pitch in $20 and you've got yourself a zombie penis, Miranda!

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  4. haha, well, I was just kidding. I wouldn't expect anyone, even a group of people, to buy me a 245 dollar dildo. If you're going to raise that kind of money, buy me a plane ticket to Florida or an iPod touch or something LOL The dildo will just sit on a shelf as a display piece, I don't personally use any for sexual gratification. But as art, it's pretty cool!

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