The Flippant Girl's Guide to Staying Positive
Credit Rumor has it there are people out there who are called "optimists." I call shenanigans. There's more chance of me riding a unicorn than meeting one of these other cryptozoologic wonders. But as someone who has an impressionable child, it's my job to keep those horrible sarcastic, doubtful thoughts far away. So how the heck does this get achieved? Warning: Amateur hour advice ahead! Medicate. Medicate, medicate, medicate. Take a thousand uppers, have too many Frappucinos, mainline caffeine. Do anything humanly possible to stay upbeat. Create a panic room. But not the kind you use for an alien invasion or an insane president. This will be solely for when you feel the need to spew out every negative thing in your brain but don't want anyone to hear. Make sure you have some wine in there as you might be in there for a while. Have a questionable agenda. It's true. No one will suspect you're planning world domination if you're positive a