Credit Whereas Thanksgiving is a one-day-a-year phenomena, December through early January is riddled with holidays and holiday parties. If you're not careful, you can sucked into three events in a night. This many parties and dinners will seriously expand your waist. (Trust me, I'm a professional.) Of course, you can be in the opposite boat and not have even have a plan of Chinese and a movie. You might feel that this is worse than being overbooked. Don't worry, we can debate the misconception of that later. Today's all about holiday survival. 1. Drink in abundance. There's a reason why Santa is so jolly and it's not because he's full of good cheer. Embrace the nog, snuggle with schnapps, spike your cocoa. Make a drinking game out of every festivity you attend*. Is someone wearing an ugly sweater? Take a shot. Is there a couple snogging under mistletoe? Chug until said snog is complete. 2. Confuse holidays. Light sparklers and play John Philip So...

Zombie Thursdays is a weekly feature with guest blogger, Miranda. You can read more about her here . There's only a week and a half left to get your Christmas shopping done! I've barely started, but hopefully I'll think of some good gifts to buy in the next week. How are you all in the Lurkdom doing on your shopping? Are you behind on your shopping? Fear not! If you have any zombie lovers in your life, then I have the perfect gift guide for you! Zombie Hunting Permit This is a great stocking stuffer! Made by some lovely people on CafePress, this (faux) hunting license gives authority to your little zombie killers to go out and take down some undead walkers. The permit is actually printed on a 3x5 vinyl sticker, so it is perfect for applying on your car, notebook, or anywhere else you might want this little guy. The permit costs $5. Munchkin Zombies Munchkin is the perfect card set for the gamer in your life. It is so much fun on its own that the only way it could possibly b...

Zombie Thur sdays is a weekly feature with guest blogger, Miranda. You can read more about her here . Merry Christmas! I have a special holiday treat for everyone today! Normally, I stick to the realm of non-fiction writing. I feel like I lack the creativity to write a fictional story with a plot and characters and all that stuff. I like to cling to my research books like a loser and then make up outrageous hypotheses that may or may not have any validity to them. I've had an idea for awhile now to re-write a Christmas classic as a zombie story. This concept is, of course, not new territory at all. You may remember that last Christmas I shared with you all a book of re-written Zombie Christmas Carols . But I decided I wanted to work on the most famous Christmas poem of all-- The Night Before Christmas! Much to my dismay, I recently saw a book at Borders that was just that, The Zombie Night Before Christmas . I thought, "oh no! Someone else has already done this, and...

I'm busy today due to procrastination, so talking about dialogue will have to wait again. (Blame Paranormalcy, as that sucked up all my time today.) However, check out these awesome trees. Boxwood Trees = best part of floral design As seen at the creepy mall. And, if you like a little more metal in your Christmas, check out this awesome light display. _____ Last.fm hit of the day: Renegade by Styx

Zombie Thur sdays is a weekly feature with guest blogger, Miranda. You can read more about her here . We're just a little bit over a week away from the big day! How is your shopping going? To be honest, mine has been not good. Lack of time, lack of money, lack of ideas... yeah, I'm not looking too good. If you're having trouble as well, today I am compiling a list of some awesome gifts that you could get for the zombie lover in your life! Because we all know that everyone loves zombies, so these gifts cannot fail on December 25th-- Build-a-Zombie Calendar! Probably one of the most popular and most bought gifts for the holidays is a calendar! Even though we all have crazy smart phones and iPads and whatever else, everyone still needs a good old fashioned calendar to put on their wall. This calendar provides twelve months of date keeping PLUS twelve paper zombie crafting projects, enough to help you build your own horde. The patterns and paper are included, but you'...

Zombie Thur sdays is a weekly feature with guest blogger, Miranda. You can read more about her here . Okay... I have NO idea what this is or why it was made. But seriously, it is so horrible it is wonderfully entertaining! I especially love how the trailer is five minutes long and basically shows everything about this film. I can't believe there may be at least another sixty minutes or more that exists of this! But I definitely have a lot of respect that these people went out there and made the film they wanted. Time to get into the holiday spirit! What are you getting your favorite zombies for the season?

Now that the season has past, I can admit that I wasn't in a Christmas-y mood this year - despite the tacky holiday display. The whole thing was a hassle. The only upside of Christmas this year was my post-holiday exchange with two of my best friends. D (follower of this blog), Steph, and I have been friends for a long time and have had years of gift-giving. For anyone who buys presents for someone year after year, you know that eventually you'll hit the wall of "I have no clue what to get them that's not a gift card." Still, every post-college year, the three of us meet for lunch and exchange gifts. This year there was a debate about doing gifts. Steph and I had already discussed a cheap price limit and I repeated it in an email that read: " Steph and I were discussing a $20 cap the other day. Cap meaning limit. Unless we want to buy each other stupid hats. Which could be pretty funny." That was all it took to create our first ever stupid hat exc...

Zombie Thursdays is a weekly feature with guest blogger, Miranda. You can read more about her here . Most people don’t associate zombies with Christmas. The average person probably lumps zombies into the neat little category of all things “Halloween.” And while it is true that zombies get their biggest spotlight during the days of cider and burning leaves, let’s face it-- zombies are awesome. And they deserve to be loved throughout the year! As far as Christian holidays go, it is easy to think zombies go best with Easter and not Christmas. After all, tomorrow is the celebration of birth, not a celebration of the dead rising from the grave. Nevertheless, zombies can find a home with baby Jesus, Santa, and snowmen. Fresh on my mind is the new book It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like ZOMBIES! (A Book of Zombie Christmas Carols) by Michael P. Spradlin. Yes... it literally is a book full of popular and familiar Christmas carols rewritten to be sung when the zombie apocalypse strikes and...

That's right. For my final post of the day, we're seeing more of my favorite holiday - Tacky Christmas. I can see that you're very excited. That's a good thing because this post contains all things Christmas. Reindeer Trees Santa All non-Santa photos are my tacky Christmas display. Hubby is playing Santa in the photo from last year's holiday party. I'm a fan of the purple mittens that Santa is sporting. Tomorrow is Zombie Thursday. I'm hoping that Miranda will make it Christmas themed.

See how it's hanging askew? That's not intentional, but the side with the poinsettas is so heavy from wire that the wreath naturally hangs at an angle. I tried tying the ribbon off balance to correct it, but no such luck. It just adds to the tackiness, I tell myself. Close ups! See me in that last close up? That's me being artsy.

As a child, one of my best friends was Jenny. She lived with her mother and grandmother  a street and a half behind me. (Her back door was on a side street that ran off the street behind mine.) Her house was on the town line, making her neighbors across the street from a different town. In this town, around the corner from Jenny's house and her across-the-street neighbors, was Emerson Street. Because of one Christmas-loving resident, Emerson Street would glow in the sky like an airfield on the horizon during the holiday season. Since I was smaller than Phantasma, I would go check out the house every year.And every year, since holiday decorating technology advances, the decorations grow. Now the house, front, and back yards are a mix of old and new. Also the epitome of tack. But I'd be lying if I said that I didn't love it. There's a hidden beauty in it's tackiness because you know that they put thought to where everything will land from the Santa that pro...

In continuation of last week's celebration of holiday tacky, I'd like to examine reindeer decorations. The reindeer has sort of become the new staple of holiday tackiness. We see it on our cars. People used to just put a wreath on the grille of their truck, but now we have the reindeer car kit. (If you click the photo, you can go and see that they are sold out for 2009, that's how popular these kits have become.) We see our pets become them. Even though, it's usually dogs that get suckered into wearing the holiday outfit, Lucky the Snowcat is the size of a small dog. That justifies him wearing antlers, right? Of course, there are those light up reindeer lawn ornaments. No photo is required for those because EVERYONE knows about them. They're like a staple of Christmas. I do have a new tacky reindeer to present. I think it will become the new holiday office chick. I give you the light fixture reindeer. He fits in any office environment and takes ...

My request from yesterday has been answered. Riz has sent me pictures from her tacky Christmas display. Riz has her display in her office cubicle and has told me that her entire office is embracing tacky this year. This is a mega win. Riz loves the colors pink and green and loves them more if they're combined. I can't help but think of Friendly's and their Watermelon Roll every single time I see them together, but that might mean I can't get ice cream off my mind. (Given the way the pants are fitting lately, that is definitely the case.) Despite my new math skills, Riz has made pink and green her signature colors and it's evident in her display. You can see hints of it here with her Christmas tree and flashy reindeer with removable feather ruff. I love how Elvis is serenading the Santa from Futurama and the reindeer. The emo tree isn't digging the live Elvis Christmas special, which is totally okay because I don't think if you're truly emo you ...

I've previously hinted at my love of Christmas displays . There's something entirely awesome at the bling quality of Christmas lights. Truth, there's something entirely awesome about the tackiness of Christmas lights.Where else are you going to find penguins holding the letters J, O, and Y in places that aren't their natural habitat ? There is no other time of year where it is completely expected to kill your electric bill and put blow up creatures on your front lawn. I don't have much of a lawn otherwise I might be tempted to take out the wise men I found in a basement excursion. Of course, the landlord might not like that. Because of the lack of lawn, and the insanity of the cats, I don't have much space for Christmas spirit. Fortunately, I have a front door. And an enclosed front porch. I'm using both to my advantage and have set up a winter wonderland on my porch. Today, I bring you phase one - THE WREATH. Not the best picture, but there wasn...

I know what you're thinking. 'It's November 4th. What the hell is wrong with you?!" Rest easy. There's nothing wrong with me. I fully support Christmas coming after Thanksgiving, not before. Nothing is more surreal than purchasing Halloween candy with a backdrop of icicle lights. That being said, look down. The above picture was in my inbox this morning and almost splashed coffee all over the monitor. This is great for two reasons. The mall that is next to my office building installed their Christmas lights when I wasn't looking yesterday. I love me a good Christmas light display. There are a few houses nearby that go hog wild come December 1st and to my hubby's (sometimes) exhausted disgust I have to see them. I don't know of anyone who doesn't like Christmas lights. They're all glowy and pretty. Or horrifically tacky and even those have some merit. You need to commit to a tacky light display. You can see more Christmas tackiness here . If you...