Friday Fives: Show More S

Yours truly is working on a shortened week with way too many plot bunnies jamming up the brain space*. So hooray for Friday, Paper Hangover, and lists.

You should know that I'm pretty rigid in my literary tastes**. I like non-sparkling, non-emo vampires. I prefer my preternatural beings to literally have bite. I'm not a fan of "classic literature" nor do I like books where the message bitch-slaps you across the face. If you're sending me a message, don't make it obvious.

That said there are certain things I'd like to see more in fiction, but not all of these are for the greater good. (Example: One of those highlander bodice rippers should really poke fun at Highlander.)
  1. Stronger girl protagonists. Maybe it's because I went to an all girl's college, but it grinds my gears whenever there's this totally pointless, helpless whelp of a girl who does nothing but do "girly things" like cook. Oh and  that she needs the boy to save her***.
  2. Something piss-my-pants hysterical. Mandy Hubbard's You Wish had me hyperventilating at the hair salon. I want more things that cause inappropriate whooping.
  3. Satire. I can't think of any in the YA market. If you do, please tell me.
  4. Sleaze/Glam Rock Femoirs. Femoir as fake memoir, not female memoir. The sleaze/glam rock scene is alive and strong, Lurkdom. I want to see it on the shelves because it. would. be. awesome.
  5. Subpar Writing. It would make publication that much easier****. (I'm kidding, of course. Sort of.)

* Which, contrary to science, is extremely small.
** Coincidentally, I'm like this with my music too. But with both, there is always an exception to the rule.
*** I'm looking right at YOU, Bella Swan. You have set feminism back maybe 70 years.
**** Not that my writing is crap. It's not. But think about it: if my competition was Nemesis... Let's just say I know better than to use the phrase "love juices."
__________ hit of the day: Thunderkiss '65 by White Zombie