The Flippant Girl’s Guide to Thanksgiving

Disclaimer: Just like the previous Flippant Girl’s Guide, this one is also written days in advance, during the NaNoBoston 24 hour write in.

Thanksgiving (and holidays in general) can be a stressful day filled with cooking disasters and logistical nightmares*. Some people would prefer pajamas and cribbage all day and yours truly is no exception. What people like us need is a no-frills, pain-free way to celebrate Thanksgiving that doesn’t have you contemplating suicide for the day.

Lucky for you, I’ve thought about this. A lot.
  1. If you’re anti-dinner planning and entertaining, you will love the dinner and a movie option. Take your Thanksgiving guests to your closest all-you-can-eat buffet. For about ten bucks per person, you can eat all the turkey and fixings you want without the prep or clean up. Then instead of working off your turkey coma by watching hours of football, go watch a movie. This year I’m voting for The Muppets, though if you’re in a heckling mood, may I suggest the greatest comedy of the year?
  2. Now what if you really, really, really want to host Thanksgiving but you’re really strapped financially? You should commit a hit and run with a turkey. They’re pretty big and stupid. Think about the family fun waiting for you when you need to clean your own bird!
  3. Thanksgiving isn’t Thanksgiving without giving, well, thanks. Instead of going around the table and each guest listing what they’re thankful for, this year everyone should share what they’re thankful for in a rap.
Do you do something special for Thanksgiving?

* At least when you’re me and one family is about four hours round trip away from the other one.