The Flippant Girl's Guide to Staying Positive

Rumor has it there are people out there who are called "optimists." I call shenanigans. There's more chance of me riding a unicorn than meeting one of these other cryptozoologic wonders. But as someone who has an impressionable child, it's my job to keep those horrible sarcastic, doubtful thoughts far away. So how the heck does this get achieved?

Warning: Amateur hour advice ahead!
  1. Medicate. Medicate, medicate, medicate. Take a thousand uppers, have too many Frappucinos, mainline caffeine. Do anything humanly possible to stay upbeat. 
  2. Create a panic room. But not the kind you use for an alien invasion or an insane president. This will be solely for when you feel the need to spew out every negative thing in your brain but don't want anyone to hear. Make sure you have some wine in there as you might be in there for a while.
  3. Have a questionable agenda. It's true. No one will suspect you're planning world domination if you're positive and happy-go-lucky all the time. 
  4. Surround yourself with people more pessimistic than you. If you chill out with a bunch of people who talk about any of the following, you in turn will feel like the most positive person on the planet: Medicare, Trump, how it goddamn snows in the winter, taxes, death, the "good old days." The list really is endless.
If you too struggle with being positive in the face of life or perpetual cheerful ankle-biters, remember, I'm here for you!

Also, did you know my YA Contemporary about four friends and an all night scavenger hunt is up for nomination on Kindle Scout? You can read the first 3 chapters here. If you nominate me and share my book with your friends, I have a chance at publication (and then you'll get my book for free). How awesome is that?